HE IS ABUSING HER BUT SHE WONT LEAVE 😭

She started it; cheating on him, shouting at him, insulting and beating him up. When he reported it to me,I didn’t believe it until one day I saw it for myself so I called her and strongly advised her against it but she was still at it. To solve the issue, I suggested a separation just for a little while hoping that the distance would make her appreciate him and give her time to reform,cos it looked like it wasn’t ever going to stop. 

Meseee(I tell you) what love can do, she hasn’t been long gone and bro started asking about her and demanding that she be brought back. so I called and she came back, apparently she also wanted so much to get back. Now we all thought she had changed but still. Hmmm It was quite embarrassing and unbearable watching a man cry and feel powerless in his own house. 

I was left with no other option now than to make him realize his foolishness. I told him that he shouldn’t allow love to blind him.It’s true God’s word is against separation and they seem to have no choice than to live together but that doesn’t mean he should tolerate her rudeness and aggressiveness. 

Yes, I advised him to teach her a lesson, cos I believe some people need a dose of their own medicine to know it’s bitterness. Apart from the fact that he is the man of the house, he is older than her, not so much an interval though just 2 years but it doesn’t matter cos even if it’s a day, he still has the bragging right as the eldest.

”Fight back any time she attempts beating you”. Don’t just stand there and cry, are you not a man?” I remember telling him and God knows how I regret saying those words to him. 

That was how it all started o,come and see for yourselves how this guy can beat this lady, then my intestines all will be shaking.Looks like the thing sweet him cos he beats her at the least provocation. Before her hand will land on his cheeks, bro had given her 3 straight, father, son and spirit… 

Even when she hasn’t done anything wrong o, just playing with him norrr, brother will do the distin. He won’t allow her to cheat him small mpo, when she takes something that belongs to him, he snatches it fast, unlike before that he would just stand there watching her and be crying.

 That’s when you will hear my husband  and I screaming….“she is your sister, give it to her erh!!!, stop beating he!!, don’t you know how to forgive?!!, leave her alone , don’t do that. The abuse has over me now. He is 3years,19 months old and she is just 19 months old. Right now I am looking for ways to make him stop because she can’t leave this relationship. It’s for better for worse😄 

The Intricacies of Motherhood

Its been a while I visited this blog😄 but how for do, it can’t be my fault ,there is so much on me, it’s only by the grace of God I am still alive and coping well.  

Fact is, combining motherhood with other responsibilities is never an easy task. My children are a handful already and if they were the only business I would have to attend to, it would still be a tedious task. 

I hope I didn’t just discourage you from having children,

 because that would be so unfortunate. My genuine intent here is to tell you the whole truth about motherhood , what perhaps no one would tell you, probably because you didn’t think it’s necessary to ask. 

Motherhood is a full time job on its own, the problem is, no one puts you on a payroll, not even your husband. It can be really really frustrating sometimes you know but there is no turning back, no way out. Stuck for life, more than a death sentence.

As I write now, I am still hopeful and looking forward to that day of rest I have been dreaming  of. A day I wouldn’t have to wake up early and in a haste to go about my morning chores just to get some two unconcerned toddlers ready for school, a day I can have some peace of mind, I mean a peaceful and quite environment. 

A day someone would serve me breakfast in bed and say I will get you water to drink ?. My ears are itching to hear someone say “mummy what should I cook today or can I go get the groceries”, “I am done doing the laundry, the utensils are clean . A day I can have the television to myself and watch my favorite channels to my heart’s content. A day I can go out and not think of rushing home because I have two little humans to take care of. 

It is for this reason that whenever they go to spend the weekends with their grandmother, I feel like heaven has visited me here on earth. Forgive me for not mentioning to you earlier that my in-laws are absolutely amazing, they are really a blessing. They have been so helpful to me in so many ways.I will make a mention of them in subsequent posts. 

You can imagine the moment we get back home from dropping the kids and an empty, quite house welcomes us. I just go straight to bed, the style I use in jumping into the bed alone is superb, the feeling is awesome. I feel a kind of weight lifted from off my shoulders. It’s those times I relive my single life, awww I miss that so much.

 I sleep soundly throughout the night and I have good dreams 😀.if I have to wake up at night , then it would be to use the washroom or pray. Breakfast is not compulsory or time bound. 

I visit the kitchen whenever I want to and get out of bed same. in fact, the freedom I enjoy is incomparable to anything. There is so much quietness I am able to concentrate and do so much in a little time. My washing moments are not dragged on into late evening. 

Plus; I rest my jaws from  screaming the usual choruses; stop it, leave there, it’s ok etc 

Amazingly, in spite of all these, I still miss them anyways 😃, that is the mystery of motherhood. The fact that when they are here we want so much for them to go away yet,  when they are away we miss them and want them back. 

This could be one fine trick God plays on us so we won’t abandoned them. Honestly it would have been so🤣

As much as motherhood can be overwhelmingly stressful, I must confess that it doesn’t deny me the pleasure of enjoying some great and remarkable moments. Moments I feel so proud of being a mother. Having an amazing husband who is very supportive makes the burden lesser. I don’t know how I would have managed to this end without him.  

Apart from working as a blogger, I have quite a number of projects I am attending to.  First of all I am a teacher which requires that I spend time studying  in preparation for my lessons, I would have to prepare teaching and lesson notes( I don’t even remember the last time I prepared a lesson note🙄😃). Spending hours in school on daily basis, teaching, giving exercises and marking in addition to other responsibilities that comes with working as a teacher. All these are very demanding.

That aside, I am a minister of God, gospel artist who is working on promoting my debut single and recording more songs , I sing in my local church and hold other positions as well. Apart from these, I am a YouTuber and a Tiktoker😄. I have a page and a group on Facebook I am managing . My other social media handles are all adamant because I don’t even get time to visit them. So you can see how very busy I am. 

I must confess that motherhood has taught me and it’s still teaching me so much about life. There were things I learnt how to do only when I became a mother. Misconceptions I had about motherhood or better put, some mothers have been erased or fixed when I became one. 

The most profound of all all is how being a mother myself has helped me to value and  appreciated my very own mother. Never knew she had endured and sacrificed so much for my brothers and I. A countless number of times I have criticized her decisions and choices; especially for me as a kid. I have been so inconsiderate to an extent, of her needs, expectations  and concerns for my life. In subsequent posts I will share more on that with you.

It’s against this backdrop that I hold this belief that “Until you become a mother, you will never be able to fully appreciate your mother”. Yes we may have seen our mothers go through one or two challenging moments , they might have shared their struggles, pains or even their fears with us but I can assure you that it’s not the reality of what they have been through.

 Mothers conceal their pains in their smiles just so their children can have the courage to laugh. God bless all mothers.

More Than A SideChick

I’ve got Jesus on my side

So i do not fear the tide

No matter how wide

His grace causes me to slide

When the enemy against me conspired 

And trials in my life transpired 

Hardship turned me down from the upside

My soul to assassinate the devil aspired 

All he made me think of was suicide

Cos I just couldn’t keep the pain inside

And I couldn’t talk to anyone though I tried

The devil said no one cares on the outside

So I tried on my own to make the pain subside

But My efforts rather made my flesh and spirit collide

To the point it was so hard for me to decide

If It was better I lived or died

Then unto God in my frustration I cried

Cos I remembered that he said by me he is beside

So into His bossom i ran to hide

Cos He promised that when in him i reside

Under his shadows i will forever abide

Now, In him, i always confide 

Laying my own desires aside

I allow him over my choices to preside

And i rely on his perfect guide

Cos to me he has never lied

His word in my spirit is daily inspired 

In every situation to be applied 

And My every direction to provide 

As he takes me on a triumphant ride

Over every obstacle i will glide 

Till his will and mine coincide

Confirming that my request he has replied 

And my every need supplied 

Then i know the devil’s schemes has expired

And To God's will he has complied

For his defeat is obviously implied

Yes, i’ve got Jesus on my side

And this i say with so much pride

The devil can never ever push me aside

Impotent Husband

“Me,I will never give birth”, these were the exact words I uttered some twenty plus years ago when I was only a kid. As young as I was back then, not knowing the value of motherhood, I meant every word of that statement.  And I stayed true to it for so long. 

I used to tell everyone about it, even my mummy whenever the subject of childbearing popped up in our conversation and she would rebuke me. But at a point in my life when I realized motherhood to an African woman is not a choice but an obligation, my decision to not give birth became my sacred secret.

 When I followed my mum to events and she introduced me as her only daughter. What i heard people say next was “you must give your mum a lot of grandchildren ”. On one occasion a woman asked me how many children I would give birth to, I hesitated before saying two in a low tone. She rebuked me and said I should never imagine myself giving birth to just two.Being the only girl child of my parents at least four is acceptable. What she didn’t know was that the two I even mentioned was just something to keep her off my back., I didn’t mean it. 

At a point,I got tired of being asked by everyone to give birth to a team of children when in actuality, I wanted none.

I considered adoption as my only option of becoming a mother because although I adored children, I couldn’t imagine myself having to go through all the pain the woman in the movie endured. She screamed, snapped her fingers, yelled at everyone, moaned, groaned wept and wailed .Oh she was indeed in so much pain, it was just so unbearable watching her, I shared every single bit of the pain, I wept too. 

Unfortunately I missed the part where she gave a faint but cheerful smile when the newly born baby gave out it’s first cry, when it was laid on her chest and her exhausted body felt it’s warmth because  I had my eyes closed and fingers stuck deep in my ears just to escape the sound of her pain stricken voice until that scene was over. 

I concluded on that day that to go to the labour room and suffer such excruciating pain, it’s a no for me. I will adopt and this registered deep in my subconscious.

Fast forward to the stage when I started dating, I noticed that almost every guy cherishes the prospect of being a father. Yes some didn’t mind adopting but the premium was on having their own kids. 

So I decided that if I would have to escape childbearing then I would have to marry an older man who had his own children and won’t be bothered not having any child with me but there again, my parents rejection of an older man as a suitor compelled me to reconsider my decision  and settle for an impotent man. To be continued…

I Will Never Forgive Him

 My neighbor bore me pass.🥸

Today I went out in the morning to buy some stuffs. On my way back, I spotted some sound systems arranged inside my neighbors house( we are not friends, I have just been passing in front of their gate everyday) the gate was opened and that’s how come I saw the systems.

Immediately I got home and entered my yard nu, I heard music from that direction, there norrr my heart jumped inside me with joy. I concluded that it’s a party so I will be attending with my children. Yes the economy is not looking good so opportunities like this must be grabbed, no need for invitation. Ain’t we neighbors?🤧.I made some calculations and I confirmed that if we attend the party our lunch and supper will be covered and if possible kraaa we can get some carry over for tomorrow. So quickly I dragged the children to the bathroom, amidst some resistance here and there and I bathed for them, I did same and got us ready for the event. OmG you should have seen us, looking so elegant in our outfits, by the time we stepped out, the whole place was silence, no music. I thought that perhaps its ECG pipos who have done their distin so we still went.They will use the generator by all means;I told myself (never heard a sound of generator from there before o, but determination has a way of making you think…)

We walked in a single file to the place, just some two houses from mine so there was no need for car. I made my boy lead (just in case it’s a children’s party) followed by the little girl and myself . The excitement the boy was exhibiting right in front nu kraaa made me commend myself for taking such a decision. When we got to the place, the gate was shut, so I knocked on the gate and the gateman came out. I told him we were there for the party, he stared at me in an awkward way as if I was speaking French. He went inside and came back out again. I overheard him asking someone if there is a party so when he got back I knew the answer. 

Watchman: Sorry o, there is no party here today. 

Me: Arh what are you talking about? what about the music you guys were playing here

Watchman: Madam there is no party o, maybe it’s not this place

Me: Arh I saw the sound systems myself, when I passed here this morning.

Watchman:(laughing now) Oh that, they were just on trial. My boss’s brother is a spinner, he just brought out the systems to test them. 

Me: Oh buh how can you people deceive the public like that. The economy is hard o so when you are doing something, consider people’s feelings.yooo

 

Now I don’t know if I should continue to church(today too is Saturday) or I should travel mbom because I can’t go home. Hubby will not spare me, he will laugh at me dread. Please advise me wai🤧

English in Hot Soup

 I had a good laugh yesterday at about this same time ;7pm chaiii. in fact when I think about it, I still feel like laughing 🤣🤣🤣.

These children won’t kill person. As a teacher of English nsu dier anka English is not a problem o but since I became a mother I realized that you don’t need to be a kob)l) (truant) or school dropout to speak bad English. Having these kidz alone is enough.They can make me speak English like no one’s business especially when I am angry, the English loses self control and comes out somersaulting 😜 

So yesterday I was bathing my son(3yrs) to get us ready for evening service, me naa I was already late and he too he was doing shakara. when I try pouring water on his head, he will tilt his head to one side and escape the water, when I follow his head with the water, he will again dodge, the thing angry me and the African mother in me was awaken, you know the screaming distin😜Before I could think of the Content, Organization, Mechanical accuracy of the Expression nu it was too late, the words dashed out of my mouth with speed. I was like;

You too put your head at one place la. Eish 🙆🏾‍♀️

The moment the words landed p3 me naaa I knew I had killed the Queen of England. For a moment I stopped bathing for him and I laughed so hard and long 🤣. Then I remembered what this same guy had made opana say in the morning., some Ga English bi o, he was like;

Come and come and pass and go and go and bath 🤣🤣🤣… asualapaaaa 

England!! we are sorry 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My First Antenatal Visit

Now that you have confirmed you are indeed pregnant, you need to start antenatal clinic as soon as possible so that your health and that of your unborn child will be monitored to avoid any unforeseen circumstances which could be fatal to mother and/or child. Let me share my experience with you.

After I had tested positive with the pregnancy kit I got from the pharmacy,I reported at a clinic. I was made to sample my urine which was tested. The results confirmed that I was indeed pregnant. 

Then the midwife pulled out a book(maternal record book) and filled in my details after which she scribbled some things on paper and directed me to the lab for some tests; Blood group, HIV/AIDS status, Malaria, Hepatitis B, Sickling status, HB(Blood level), sugar level and protein.

 I was supposed to have taken a scan too but because they didn’t ran such services , i was instructed to take it outside and bring the results on my next visit.

When the lab results were ready, I went back to see the midwife and she wrote down some prescriptions for me to get at the dispensary.Folic acid, multivitamins and bCo(😁). (Below is a picture of the antenatal book)

She advised me on adopting good eating habits; eat well balanced diets at regular intervals,(don’t wait till you are famished before you eat) drink more water and take in lots of fruits. Don’t miss any of your doses because the baby will depend on whatever you eat or drink for survival. Sleep under treated mosquito nets (but they didn’t give me one mpo😜) if you feel any discomforts,report back to us”. 

I was given a little container in which I was to sample my urine and present at ANC (Antenatal Clinic) each time I visited. I was scheduled to visit once every month, it was such a relief because I hate hospital environments(will tell you more on my Memories page). “Bring your Maternal Record book and your national health card each time you visit”. Those were her final words and I headed back home

So that’s basically what you should expect at your first visit to the antenatal clinic. However, services provided may differ from hospital to hospital so don’t expect the same procedures. I didn’t continue my ANC at the same facility so I had the opportunity to experience varying services.

Don’t forget to take some money along because you would have to pay for some of the lab tests and medicines. NHIS is free for pregnant women but does not cover every medicine or services. 

Be bold enough to ask questions that may be on your mind, the nurses will be kind enough to sort you out with the right answers.

If you have any questions about this post, kindly drop it in the comment section. I will send you a reply. 

The Fourth Man

*Scripture:He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God. Daniel 3:25

King Nebu,highly infuriated by the unbending resolution of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, had commanded that “the furnace was to be heated seven times hotter than usual.” Vrs 19. He had the most strongest of his soldiers bound them and threw them into the furnace. Then he sat right there, at a safe distance to monitor and watch them utterly destroyed. But mysteriously,the fourth man,whose name is Immanuel (God with us) who the elements of fire bows to, stepped into the furnace and delivered them. Nebu was shocked to see four free men having a Holy Ghost party inside an insanely heated furnace. OmG, the devil has tried you, he has plagued you with innumerable predicaments waiting to see you bow and give up on serving God and because you are still standing , now he wants to utterly destroy you. Get ready for the fourth man in this fourth month. Deliverance is coming 

*Prayer:

April is my month of deliverance from every form of affliction. Immanuel is on my side, I shall not be utterly destroyed. My enemies are in for a shock, in Jesus name;

#AuthenticWord